Blog Post 8: My Initial Proposal

I made an initial proposal so I could start putting my ideas together and seeing where they would go and if they made sense in terms of narrative flow.

Advert 1, (Old):
- 3 teens arrive at a skate park
- They start skating and doing tricks
- "Hey can you do this trick?"
- Shows trick on instagram
- Someone attempts and falls over
- "I'm so hungry" "But who's going to deliver in a skatepark?"
- "I discovered Your Food and they deliver anywhere" "Let's order Chinese"
- Food arrives on skateboard and they eat
- Logo and voiceover with slogan. "No Frustration, Your Location, 24/7"

Advert 2, (Old):
- 3 teens are coming back from a party
- "I'm so hungry"
- They look for cash but each have really random items that are the opposite to their stereotype e.g goth has a rainbow keyring.
- They get on the bus
- "I discovered Your Food and they deliver anywhere" "Let's order Chinese"
- They order, arrive home and food delivery arrives at the same time as them
-  Logo and voiceover with slogan. "No Frustration, Your Location, 24/7"

When reviewing my initial proposal for my adverts and after having looked at other adverts, I simply realised they didn't really leave an impact on the audience, weren't memorable and the comedy was confusing: advert 1: we set up these teenagers to be cool and edgy as they enter the skate park but this is broken once one of them falls over which I don't think works well and is comedic. Advert 2: When they look for cash but each have really random items that are the opposite to their stereotype e.g goth has a rainbow keyring, this could be viewed as offensive which doesn't fit with the ASA guidelines and isn't actually that funny.

Advert 1 (New):
- 3 teens arrive at a skate park
- They start skating and doing tricks (sustained montage of these clips from interesting angles and perspectives)
- "I'm so hungry" "But who's going to deliver in a skatepark?"
- Your Food business card blows into one of their faces
- They order food
- Food arrives on skateboard and they eat
- Logo and voiceover with slogan. "No Frustration, Your Location, 24/7"

Advert 2 (New):
- 3 teens are coming back from a party and get on a bus
- "I'm so hungry" "But who's going to deliver at 2am?"
- Your Food business card hits one of their faces
- They order, after discussing a variety of options and arrive home.
- Food delivery arrives at the same time as them
- Zoom in of food with angelic noise
-  Logo and voiceover with slogan. "No Frustration, Your Location, 24/7"


This planning was beneficial to my project because it allowed me to review my advert and easily pitch it to others so I could see easier what needed to be changed and if it flowed well and actually had a good narrative. It was very useful because I actually ended up changing my idea, as seen above.